why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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