Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
