4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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