Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
