There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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