There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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