I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
