Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
