So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
