i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
