I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
