Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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