You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
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