I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
