it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
