How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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