I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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