it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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