come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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