You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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