i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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