i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
