Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
