My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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