Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
