are you still at the devil's house?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
