Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
