Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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