after a month anything with tits is on the radar
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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