Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
