that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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