is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
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