So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
