You're my little dorito
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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