We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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