East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Screwed.edu
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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