i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
