The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
