the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You ate ashes out of my bong
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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