i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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