I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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