im about as happy as oj after his trial
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
