I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
