Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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