When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
My balls are so social today.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Randomize
