I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
