did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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