Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
