New invention idea: vibrating tampons
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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