i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
