Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
the condom got lost in my hair
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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