The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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