super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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