I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
