Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
