go do what you do best...puke behind churches
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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