so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
be right there i have to get my cape
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
