that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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