Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
