i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
