He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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