I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
