I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
