the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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