Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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