OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
