I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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