just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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