woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
