That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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