It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
