that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
