Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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