Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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