so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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