I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
