I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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