You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
