Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
