Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
